We come to this window to see the shift in the creatures that lie within this home. These Homo sapiens happen to suffer from bi-holiday disorder; a disorder in which the creature experiences a violent and sudden change in thankfulness that generally occurs at 3 P.M. on the last Thursday of every November. In order to determine the effects of this disease, we have come to study them, hopefully without interfering in their regular routine.
The humans have just awoken from their slumber. They appear to be rolling over in their beds like a can of soda rolling along the bed of a truck, and just as cans are ready to explode, these individuals are ready to burst with excitement for the abundant amount of calories they will soon consume.
Soon they enter the kitchen, where the almost tangible monster of mania is released. The oven, crock pot, stove top, microwave, toaster, griddle, and kettle are all turned on. All that needs to be done now is a bucket of water thrown on the floor, transforming this kitchen into an electrical sauna.
It appears that the humans have decided that they, instead of filling the kitchen with sauna steam, should fill it with odors: the odor of turkey, stuffing, cranberries, potatoes, sweet potatoes, eggs, soups, breads, pumpkins, apples. The kitchen appears full of the two-legged creatures, their subordinate foods, and their dominant electrical appliances.
An eight-year-old, male child appears to be exiting the kitchen and entering the dining room, where he lays down two plates per person, a knife, and a fork. The child then sits at a smaller table in the corner of the room with a piece of paper and a moving pencil. Upon investigation, it is discovered that the child was scribbling down a list of expensive products, including PlayStations and Adidas. It appears as though bi-holiday disorder affects not only the older humans, but also their offspring, which have an early onset, beginning the transition at noon or earlier, versus at 3 P.M.
Each human has finished cleaning their two plates, which were full a mere time ago. Despite being cleaned by forks, it appears as though they plan on still cleaning the dishes with soap and water. However, they have suddenly become distracted by the sight of paper.
These papers appear to have pictures of products, most likely plastic in order to be preserved in perfect condition. Each item has a price next to it and the overwhelmingly large and bold phrase of “SALE PRICE!” This catches each individual’s attention unapologetically, and soon each item is circled with a different colored pen as indicators of each person’s desires for Christmas. No longer do their hearts say “Give Thanks,” but instead they say “Give me.”
We just had to escape. We were hoping to observe the humans without contact with them, but shortly after circling their flyers, they ran through the window that we were looking out. They appeared to be overwhelmed by their disorder. Their arms flailed, and their noses flared. Their eyes bulged out of their sockets as they saw visions of sales dancing across their eyes. Luckily, we escaped this insane creature, with hopes that it is not contagious.